Some phrases are contradictory whatever way we look at them. 

Act Natural.  "Act natural" is common advice to prospective job seekers. But to act is behaviour which is contrived and artificial, somewhat in the manner of a theatrical performance, while natural is proper instincts, feelings, and behaviour that comes without pre-thought. One scripted the other not. — Submitted by Anna Underwood, Adelaide, South Australia, Australia.

Alone Together. Being along and together with anybody else is impossible, so this phrase is an oxymoron. It usually means that a couple is alone, that is, no one else is with them.

Anxious Patient.  Anxious is colloquially used to mean "eager." One meaning of patient is "calmly awaiting an outcome or result." Therefore, anxious patient would seem to be an oxymoron. However, more than half of usage experts frown on the use of anxious to mean "eager," and patient in this context means "one who receives medical attention, care or treatment." Therefore, anxious patient does not technically qualify as an oxymoron. (Source: Dictionary.Com) — Submitted by Joe of Evanston, Wyoming, USA.

Awfully Good. Here is a contradiction that is about as clear as they get. How can anything that is awful be good and vice versa? The oxymoron results from the colloquial misuse of "awfully" instead of "very" to modify "good." It is similar to "pretty ugly."

Bitter Sweet. Bitter and sweet are opposite terms, so this phrase is contradictory. In one usage, it is a metaphor that draws attention to the lack of sweetness when sweetness is expected, similar to "sweet sorrow." In another common usage, it refers to chocolate that tastes bitter and sweet simultaneously because of the conflicting flavors. This oxymoron is similar to "sweet and sour."

Bitter Sweet (2). You have cited [bitter sweet] as an oxymoron because bitter is the opposite of sweet.  Not so.  Bitter is the opposite of sour.  Sweet does not have a chemical opposite.  Bitter Sweet and Sweet and Sour are desirable tastes because they excite opposite ends of the tongue. — Submitted by Tom Chilton of Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.

Editors' Response: It depends on the usage. Under "sweet," Thesaurus.Com lists "bitter" as an antonym. Under "bitter," it lists "sweet" as an antonym. Both words carry meanings beyond chemistry and sensory taste. Therefore, "bitter sweet" is an oxymoron under certain meanings of "bitter" and "sweet."

Calm Wind. Calm means not moving. Wind is air in motion. Clearly an oxymoron.

Clearly Confusing. Nothing that is confusing can be clear and vice versa, so this phrase is clearly an oxymoron. The writers and speakers of this oxymoron probably mean that an issue is indisputably confusing.

Clearly Misunderstood. Like "clearly confusing," nothing that is misunderstood can be clear. So the writers and speakers of this oxymoron would be better to use something like "definitely misunderstood."

Cherokee Pioneer. A Cherokee Pioneer is a brand of sport-utility vehicle. A Cherokee is an Indian and a Pioneer is a settler. Therefore, "Cherokee Pioneer" could be an oxymoron. — Submitted by Matthew Mackey of Wichita, Kansas, USA.

Cold Boiling Water. "When a student asked her professor about her chances of getting an A for the semester," writes Lola Zabiel of Chicago, Illinois, USA, "the reply was: 'about the same chance of getting cold boiling water when you prepare pasta for dinner.'" This oxymoron was definately used as a figure of speech to make a point, and it works.

Cold fire. This phrase refers to diamonds. The light from diamonds looks likes fire, but the fire is cold fire. It does not burn us. — Submitted by Navin Prasad of Seremban, Malaysia. 

Editors' Note: We found numerous other references to the phrase, "cold fire." It's a book title, the name of several companies and the name of an alcoholic mixed drink. It's also used in reference to bioluminescence, which is the ability of life forms to release light.

Constant Change. Constant means unchanging, so "constant change" is definitely contradictory. The better construction would be "continual change," which means that change keeps happening.

Continuously and Frequently.  We recently learned of a city ordinance holding owners liable for "continuously and frequently barking dogs." Although "continuously and frequently" does not form an oxymoron in the absolute sense (the terms are not opposites), the terms are different enough that the phrase is nonsense. Continuously means: "Uninterrupted in time, sequence, substance, or extent." Frequently means: "At frequent or short intervals; many times; often; repeatedly." (Dictionary.Com) Barking cannot be uninterrupted and in short intervals. Therefore, dogs can bark continuously or frequently, but not both. – Submitted by Bill Stack of Knoxville, Tennessee, USA.

Controlled Chaos. The dictionary denotations of these words are not opposite, but the connotations are definitely opposite. When we think of chaos, we think of something that is out of control. Accordingly, these words form a construction that meets the definition of oxymoron. — Submitted anonymously.

Cruel Kindness.  Cruel is mistreating or disrespecting another person, animal, etc.  Kindness is showing affection and caring.  Both words are exact opposites. Read it in the dictionary when I looked up oxymoron. — Submitted by Dana Smith of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA.

Deafening Noise. Deafening means to make silent or soundproof.  Noise is the making of sound, generally loud. — Submitted by Jonathan Rudolph of Aurora, Colorado, USA.

Definite Maybe. Definite means "positively, certain," and maybe means "perhaps, possibly." Therefore, this phrase is an oxymoron. The speakers and writers probably are using it to emphasize that their information, decision or answer is tentative and not definite.

Definite Possibility.  Something that is definate is also certain. A possibility is something that is not certain.  It could happen or it could not happen.  So "definite possibility " is definitely an oxymoron. — Submitted by Drew Hall of Clemson, South Carolina, USA.

Devilish Angel.  One who is an angel can't be devilish or a devilish man couldn't be an angel at the same time. It is probably and virtually impossible! That man that stole my guitar was a "Devilish Angel" when he did it! — Submitted anonymously.

Down Escalator. The name "down escalator" is an oxymoron because the word "escalator" comes from
the word "escalate," which means "to advance in an upward direction." Therefore, the "down escalator" is an oxymoron. — Submitted anonymously.

Eyes Wide Shut. Wide "Fully open or extended: while shut implies "closed." From a movie so titled. — Submitted by Rusty Williams, of Kansas City, Missouri, USA. 

False Hope.  "False" is negative; "hope" is positive. A synonym for "false" is "faithless;" a synonym for hope is "faith." So "false hope" is an oxymoron that usually means a person's hope is misguided or unrealistic.  — Submitted by Shannon of Seaville, New Jersey, USA.

Found Missing. "Money for disaster relief found missing," reports Boston's WHDH TV Online, 14 Mar 02 (www.whdh.com/news/articles/6009). Found and missing are obviously opposite terms. When we find something that had been missing, it is no longer missing. To find that something is missing is quite another situation. — Submitted by Bill Stack of Knoxville, Tennessee, USA.

Freezer Burn. Burn means "to damage by heat or fire." Nothing could get burned in a frozen environment, so this phrase is literally contradictory. It refers to dehydration of frozen foods in the freezer, with the damaged areas called "freezer burn."

"A freezer is freezing therefore it cannot really burn someone," writes Daniel Silvershein of Warren, New Jersey, USA, on 13 February 2001. "Freezer burn implies that the freezer is burning or hot which is impossible if it is freezing."

Dictionary.Com provides numerous definitions of "burn," most of which regard damage by heat. However, one definition could be applied to damage by freezing: "An injury produced by fire, heat, radiation, electricity, or a caustic agent."

Fresh Frozen.  Fresh means: "not preserved, as by canning, smoking, or freezing: fresh vegetables," according to Dictionary.Com. Therefore, fresh frozen is an oxymoron. The term refers to foods that are frozen from their fresh state without having been cooked or processed first. — Submitted anonymously.Good Grief.  Good is suppose to be something favorable, and grief isn't suppose to be favorable. — Bailey of Bloomington, Illinois, USA 

Great Depression. The term Great Depression, which refers to the United States' economic depression of the 1930s, doesn't make sense. You can be in a depressed mood, or a great mood, but not both. Although the term "great" is used for large or big, it also means to be good, fine, or excellent as said in Microsoft Word's U.S. Dictionary. The term "depression" means to have sadness, or be in despair. — Submitted by Richie Garodnick of Centerville, Massachusetts, USA.

Headbutt. Head is what is on your shoulders a butt is on the opposite side of your body. —  Submitted by Jake of Chaska, Minnesota, USA.

Include Me Out. "It is impossible to be included in something that excludes you at the same time," writes Dudley Wood of Lisbon, Portugal. This slang verb phrase is obviously an oxymoron because of its use of "include" and "out."

Incorrect Facts. A fact is something that is real, authentic, correct and verifiably so. All facts are therefore correct. Data can be incorrect. Information can be incorrect. Facts are by definition correct. Thus, "incorrect facts" is an oxymoron.

Incredibly Dull. "Incredibly means amazing, shocked, unbelievable," writes Mike Cloverdale of Indiana (USA). "Dull means boring, nothing amazing." Well, sort of. Incredible initially meant "unbelievable" or "lacking credibility." In casual usage, it has also come to mean "surprising." So in this usage, incredibly dull would be an oxymoron. However, careful writers and speakers are sure to maintain the distinction between incredible and surprising.

Intentional Accident. A television newscaster in Myrtle Beach (reporting on a hit-and-run incident involving a child on a bicycle) stated: "Police are investigating to determine if the accident was intentional." — Submitted by Lynn Day of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, USA. Actually, this is a contradiction, because an "intentional accident" is really a collision, not an accident at all.

Jumbo Shrimp. Jumbo means "large"; shrimp means "small." Literally, this phrase means "large small." In this usage, however, it refers to the largest of a small seafood called "shrimp," so it does make sense.

Land Bridge. A bridge is "a structure spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway," according to Dictionary.Com. Therefore, a land bridge, i.e. a bridge made of land, would seem contradictory. But Dictionary.Com also defines land bridge as "something resembling or analogous to this structure [a bridge] in form or function, as in land bridge between the continents." But the frequent use of this term to describe an overland route between Uzbekistan and Mazar-e- Sharif in Afghanistan, as done repeatedly by the news media, is definitely an oxymoron.

Liquid Natural Gas. Abbreviated "LNG," liquid natural gas is natural gas held at such a cold temperature (-260F, -162C) that it condenses into a liquid, just as water vapor condenses to liquid at 212F or 100C.  In liquid form, the gas takes up 1/600th as much space as when it is in vapor form (WHDH-TV, Boston). But liquids and gases are so different with such different properties, liquid natural gas is a pure oxymoron.

Liquid Natural Gas. I enjoyed your oxymoron page, however there is an error.  There is a reference to "liquid natural gas" (I assume from WHDH-TV, Boston) which is a misnomer.  LNG is actually called "liquefied natural gas", which then makes sense. — Submitted by Jeff Beale of Millersville, Maryland, USA.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Acronym Finder Com lists LNG as "Liquefied Natural Gas"  and "Liquid Nitrogen Gas."

Living Dead. Life forms that are alive cannot be dead, too (unless it's brain dead, which is another issue). Therefore, this phrase is an oxymoron. It is a sarcasm referring to people who think and behave as though they were dead.

Loose Tights. Tights are supposed to be tight and onto the skin," writes Kendra of Camdenton, Missouri, USA, "but when you buy too big of tights they become loose, causing this to be an oxymoron."

Minor Crisis. A crisis is a disaster, and disasters are not minor problems. — Submitted anonymously.

Mutually Exclusive. "Mutually seems to involve both and exclusive seems to involve neither," observes JP of Oxnard, California, USA. The phrase means that everyone is excluded equally or by equal consent. Because the two words definitely have opposite meanings, this phrase clearly qualifies as an oxymoron.

Near Miss. This is a truly ridiculous oxymoron. In aviation, a near miss is an undesired pass of two or more aircraft within a prescribed distance, usually 1,000 feet vertically and a few miles horizontally (it differs in different airspaces). It means that they miss one another, but they were too close for safety. The more accurate term would be "near hit," but that's not the term our government chose.

Neutral Bias. A bias is "a preference or inclination the inhibits impartial judgment." Neutral means "belonging to neither side." Given that these terms contradict each other, a "neutral bias" would have to be an oxymoron. Heard on FoxNews' "O'Reilly Report" 9 July 1999.

Old News. Here is a clearly contradictory phrase -- no information can be old and new at the same time. It refers to old information that is presented as new. In journalism school, we called it "old hat." The phrase is usually sarcastic.

One Choice. A choice is "a number or variety from which to select." If there is only one item, there is not choice, now is there? So "one choice," "single choice," "one alternative" and so forth are all oxymorons.

Original Copy. This oxymoron is clearly absurd but used so often that people take it for granted. There can be originals and there can be copies, but nothing that is an original can also be a copy. The speakers and writers should refer to originals and copies but never to original copies.

Organized Chaos.  Organized" means there is a certain order to things, whatever it may be. Chaos is a lack of order. Can you have an ordered lack of order? This phrase was used as the theme for my school's 2002-2003 yearbook. — Submitted by of Daisy Ball Park, Missouri, USA.

Oxymoron. The word oxymoron is itself an oxymoron! It is derived from two Greek words: oxus meaning "sharp" and moros meaning "dull."  — Submitted by Jake of Chaska, Minnesota, USA.

Plastic Glasses. "Plastic implies that the object is made of plastic," writes Frosty Staggs of Lomita, California, USA, "while glasses implies that it is made of glass." Frosty is right. And his oxymoron could apply to drinking glasses and eyeglasses made of plastic.

Politically Correct. "Politics deals with contentious issues where "correctness"  has not been, or cannot be, determined," writes Richard Winder of British Columbia, Canada. "To assert that 'It would not be politically correct' is usually taken to mean that a majority of people would (or should) agree with the speakers viewpoint." Richard has a good point. Although we were unable to find this definition in any dictionary, we agree that the word "politics" does carry this connotation. For this reason, "politically correct" would be contradictory and therefore an oxymoron.

Preexisting Condition. We know what is meant but it is totally inaccurate in it's prevalent use. It really has a very narrow and theological use. Only God is, or has been, preexisting. At least nothing else, or anyone other than Him, claims to actually be preexisting. So, lets say you have a health condition prior to being insured, it should be a prior/previous condition or pre-insured condition not preexisting condition.  — Submitted by Ben Marshall of Gaithersburg, Maryland, USA.

Pretty Ugly. Here is another blatant oxymoron. Like "awfully good," it results from the colloquial misuse of "pretty" instead of "very."

Real Fantasy. Real fantasy is an oxymoron, because "real" means that something is actual and not imaginary, while fantasy is something that is not real. Therefore, there is a contradiction. Submitted by "L."

Real Phony. Nothing can be real and be phony at the same time, so this phrase is an oxymoron. A better phrase might be "definite phony."

Rolling Stop. Roll means to move slowly, and stop means to cease moving. Accordingly, this phrase is contradictory. However, it refers to "stops" at stop signs in which the automobile slows to a roll and proceeds along without actually stopping. It is an oxymoron, but it works. Its redundancy companion is "complete stop."

Secret Service. The Secret Service is a section of the United States Treasury Department that protects the president of the United States. Given that everybody knows they are present wherever the president goes and that many of them are plainly visible for all to see, they just are not much of a secret.

Smart Dummy.  Smart and dummy are complete opposite terms. People who do dumb things could be educated at doing the dumb things they do. This oxymoron was heard in a movie in which a boy was very unintelligent when it came to society's perception of "smart," yet he had skill in doing the dumb things he did. — Submitted by "Lilcutie" of Silver Spring, Maryland, USA.

Sound of Silence.  This phrase is definitely an oxymoron, because two clearly opposite terms are combined to create an entirely new meaning. Some messages can be conveyed by saying nothing, not responding or ignoring. We can all relate to an awkward feeling when sitting among people who are saying nothing to us.  The silence in our homes can be unsettling when loved ones are absent, or it can be welcome when noisy relatives or children are not around. — Submitted by Anne of McAllen, Texas, USA.

Straight Curve.  A line can be stright line or curved, but not both. this orxymoron was once used to explain a drawing. — Submitted by Sarika Gupta or Mumbai, Maharashtra, India.

Student Teacher.  "A student is a learner and a teacher is a teacher," writes Horsey Girl.  Actually, a student teacher is a person who is learning how to teach.

Sure Bet. A bet is "An agreement usually between two parties that the one who has made an incorrect prediction about an uncertain outcome will forfeit something stipulated to the other," according to Dictionary.Com. In a bet, one person bets that something is true or will happen, and the other person bets with equal confidence that the opposite is true or will happen. With the other better believing it's not a sure bet, and with many people who bet on sure things losing, these bets are so sure after all. — Submitted by Austin Moore, Overland Park, Kansas, USA.

Sweet and Sour. Sweet and sour are opposing tastes, so this phrase is contradictory. However, it refers to food that simultaneously tastes sweet and sour because of the conflicting seasonings. In this regard, it is similar to "bitter sweet."

Sweet Sorrow. In this context, sweetness means "pleasing to the senses," so how could it modify sorrow, which means "mental suffering or pain." The phrase is obviously an oxymoron. It is usually used sarcastically, meaning that the sorrow is not as painful as would be expected.

Sweet Tart. As an adjective, tart is a sour flavor, such as a lemon. As a noun, tart is "a pastry shell with shallow sides, no top crust, and any of various fillings." Although a pastry tart can have sweet fillings, the juxtaposition of "sweet" and "tart" is an oxymoron. — Submitted by Emily Maine of Saginaw, Michigan, USA.

Symphonic Discord.  Symphonic is a sweet noise instrumental played by a group of people. Discord means the opposite. — Submitted by Karlie of Daphne, Alabama, USA.

Traveling Without Moving. "How can you change from the position you're in to a new one without moving?" asks Tom Munckton of Southampton, England. This is a song title and album name by the British band Jamiroquai.

Turned up Missing.  If something "turns up" in English, it shows up, appears, can be touched or felt.  If it is missing, then it is gone, out of sight, and can't be touched or seen. This phrase has an oxymoron counterpart, too: "We found him lost." If he is lost, how could we have found him? No doubt the speaker means we discovered that he was lost, but that is not what is said. I have heard both of these expressions many times in personal conversations, on the broadcast news, and I have seen them used in print in newspapers and magazines. I believe it is safe to say that most native speakers of English, especially American English, will recognize these expressions as fairly common in spoken English. —  Submitted by Marty Carpenter of Santa Rosa, California, USA.

Vertical Horizon. Vertical is straight up and down, and the horizon is the straight side to side line of the sky. It's the name of a popular band. — Submitted by Mitch Forman of Pennsylvania, USA. 

Virtual Reality. This oxymoron has come into common usage with high technology devices that make the unreal seem real. It might have started as advertising hyperbole.

White Chocolate. "Chocolate is really brown," observes Rachel Krofcheck of Lititz, Pennsylvania, USA, "so you shouldn't say that it's white!" Confectioners say white chocolate isn't really chocolate, anyway, because it contains no cocoa, according to www.straightdope.com.

Wholesome. This compound word is made of two words with completely different meanings, "whole" and "some." — Submitted by Ed Smilde of Byron Center, Michigan, USA.

Some phrases seem like oxymorons, but deeper scrutiny reveals their logic. 

Almost Always.  Always is an adverb meaning: "at all times," "forever" and "at any time." Almost is an adverb meaning: "nearly," "not quite" and "slightly short of." Using almost to modify the absolute always seems like an oxymoron, because two unlike terms are juxtaposed to create a new meaning. But the terms are not opposites, and modification of absolutes such as always is one purpose of the adverb almost. — Submitted by Shawn Taylor of Stratford, Connecticut, USA.

Almost Exactly. How can anything exact be almost at the same time? It's easy. An issue can be close to exact but not quite so that it is "almost exactly." For example, if you shoot an arrow at a bulls eye and strike just outside the innermost circle, you are "almost exactly" on center.

Almost Finished. "You cannot be "almost finished," opines Biffy of Syracuse, New York, USA. "You are either finished or not." Well, not quite. Almost is an adjective meaning "Slightly short of; not quite; nearly," according to Dictionary.Com. In fact, Dictionary.Com actually uses almost finished to exemplify the definition. If you are working on a project and have very little work remaining to finish the job, you are almost finished. If you are running a race and have a few feet left before crossing the finish line, you are almost finished. Adjectives such as almost enable us to describe situations that are not described adequately by a word, itself, as in "almost finished."

Black Light. How can light be black, when black is the absence of light? In this context, black means not the absence of light but light that we cannot see, specifically, ultraviolet. So while this phrase seems like an oxymoron, it is not.

Building Demolition. When read as past participle, "building"  in this phrase creates an oxymoron. But when read as a gerund, it makes perfect sense. This example is a typical gerund "flip flop" in which the same words can present different meanings. Submitted by David Dunham of Sonoma, California, USA.

Civil War. Civil means "cultured, polite, courteous," and war means "open conflict." Therefore, these words seem contradictory. However, civil war is defined by the American Heritage Dictionary as "a war between factions or regions of a country." Therefore, this term is not an oxymoron.

Dry Ice. Dry is defined in several dictionaries as "free from liquid or moisture," presumably water. Ice is defined in several dictionaries as "frozen water." Therefore, dry ice would qualify as an oxymoron. However, dry ice is defined in several dictionaries as "frozen carbon dioxide," so the word dry distinguishes this ice from water. Submitted by Austin Lee Moore & Scott Andrew Percy Braham of Overland Park, Kansas, USA.

Fast Turtle. "Turtle definitely give you the impression of moving slowly," writes Kristie Yang of Jacksonville, Florida, USA. " There is no 'fast' turtle." Kristie is right — mostly. Turtles are quite sluggish, and we never think of a fast turtle. If we held a turtle race, however, some of the turtles would finish before others, and those would be fast turtles compared to the others.

Foul Line and Foul Post. The lines extending outward from home plate into left and right fields of a baseball field mark the end of the fair zones. Generally, balls hit on the playing field side of these lines are considered fair, and balls hit on the opposite side are foul. Balls that strike the line or the foul post are fair, too. Therefore, the terms should be "fair line" and "fair post." Because these terms are inaccurate, they are misnomers, not oxymorons. — Submitted by Bob W. of Troy, New York, USA. 

Genuine Imitation. Genuine means and imitation means. For this reason, genuine imitation would be an oxymoron. However, if an imitation meets the criteria for being an imitation, then it is just as genuine as anything else that meets is criteria. How about that? Same as "true counterfeit."

Grounded Flight. "A flight must be airborne," writes Mary E. Chambers of Beaverton, Oregon, USA. "Grounded means to be on the ground. Being on the ground and in the air at the same time is therefore incompatible, making the phrase an oxymoron." However, Dictionary.Com defines a flight as (among other things) "a scheduled airline run or trip." So while "grounded flight" would be an oxymoron in some cases, it would not be in others.

Hi-fi cassette tapes.  How can a medium that stops a full octave below the maximum threshold of human hearing ever be labeled 'hi-fi'? — Submitted by Jeroen of Alkmaar, Netherlands,, who sees the term daily in the recording studio where he works.

Editor's note: Relative terms such as "hi fi" become ridiculous eventually in a world of continually advancing technology. When "hi fi" was introduced, it provided much higher fidelity than previous technology. Before long, "high-speed internet access" will be as ridiculous, but it means a lot now.

Holy War. "How can there be anything even resembling 'holy' about war?" asks Greg Baxter of Lomita, California, USA. Good question. Dictionary.Com defines holy (in part) as: "free from sinful affections." It doesn't seem that any war can be free from sinful affections, so this term would be an oxymoron. Dictionary.Com also says that holy means (in part): "set apart to the service or worship of God;" So-called "holy" wars are declared by religious zealots in service to their god. Dictionary.Com defines holy war as: "a crusade; an expedition carried on by Christians against the Saracens in the Holy Land, in the eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth centuries, for the possession of the holy places." We're not sure, but we believe that people of other faiths have declared holy wars, too.

It's bad luck to be superstitious. Believing in bad luck is being superstitious. (This is a contradiction rather than an oxymoron — the editors).  — Submitted by Millie of Honolulu, Hawaii, USA.

Mad Scientist. David den Ouden of The Netherlands writes: "Mad means that you are not bright, that you are retarded. Scientist means that you are smart, developed and well educated. Quite the opposite." This is a good observation, but the word "mad" in this context means "crazy" or "insane" according to www.dictionary.com.  So the phrase mad scientist refers to a scientist who is crazy or insane, not ignorant or retarded.

Modern History.  History refers to something in the past, while modern would suggest that the event is current. "I am taking a modern history class in order to get my degree," is an example. — Submitted by Amelia of Boston, Massachusetts, USA.

Editor's notes:  Modern refers to "recent times or the present" according to Dictionary.Com. History is "a chronological record of events, as of the life or development of a people or institution, often including an explanation of or commentary on those events." Therefore, modern history is basically a chronological record of recent events.

Noisy but Peaceful. "The Sierra Club staged a noisy but peaceful march in downtown Seattle," wrote the Associated Press on 30 Nov. One of the meanings of peaceful is "silence," so "noisy but peaceful" would be contradictory under that definition. However, most definitions of peaceful mean "without hostilities," so this phrase would be all right.

One-Man Audience. "Audience" implies a number of people, so a one-man audience is an oxymoron. —  Submitted by Andrew Cornell of Plano, Texas, USA.

Peace-Keeping Missile. "Missiles cause war, not peace," writes Megan of Texas, USA. It does seem odd that a weapon of war could keep the peace. Actually, no war ever resulted from any peace-keeping missile. In a tactic called "deterrence," these missiles were intended for deterring others from attacking. Under the theory of "mutually assured destruction," all participants would lose a nuclear war, so none could gain by starting one. Having the capability to destroy the other side was enough to keep the peace.

Pinch Hitter. A pinch is "To squeeze or bind (a part of the body) in such a way as to cause discomfort or pain," and a hitis "to forcefully strike." Although these two actions are not the same, they're not contradictory, either. Pinch in this usage means "an emergency situation." In baseball, a pinch hitter hits in a presumed emergency or special situation.

Remarkably Common.  Among other things, remarkable means "uncommon," so "remarkably uncommon" would definitely be contradictory. The phrase is legitimate, because it describes something so common that the commonality itself stands out. Therefore, this phrase is clearly an oxymoron. — Submitted by Bob W. of Troy, New York, USA.

Resident Alien. "Resident means you reside in a certain area, and alien is some one or some thing from a different area," writes Ryan Miller of Ontario, Canada. This is an excellent point, because these words are definitely contradictory. However, the phrase is used in reference to people of foreign citizenship who live in a given country, usually illegally, such as a citizen of a Central American country who enters the United States illegally and lives and works in the United States illegally.

Safety Hazard. This construction is among many that appear contradictory but are grammatically correct. It means "hazard to safety." In this regard, it is similar to "fire truck," which is not a truck made of fire.

Slow Speed. This phrase seems contradictory, but upon closer scrutiny we can see that it is all right. In this context, speed means "velocity," not "high velocity." So it literally means "slow velocity," which is not contradictory.

Straight Hooks. The definition of a hook is a curved or bent device for catching, holding, or pulling. It's pretty self explanatory that the word "straight" can not be bent OR curved without taking the entire meaning out completely. — Submitted by Chelsea Evans of Corbin, Kentucky, USA.

Editor's note: Would a nail qualify as a straight hook?

Sun Shade. How can anything in the sunlight be in the shade too? In this phrase, shade doesn't refer to an area where the sunlight is blocked; it refers to a device that blocks the sunlight. Thus, sun shade is not contradictory.

Sweet Tart. As an adjective, tart is a sour flavor, such as a lemon. As a noun, tart is "a pastry shell with shallow sides, no top crust, and any of various fillings." Although a pastry tart can have sweet fillings, the juxtaposition of "sweet" and "tart" is an oxymoron.

— Submitted by Emily Maine of Saginaw, Michigan, USA.

True Counterfeit. Counterfeit means "fraudulent imitation," meaning that the imitation is intended to defraud. If the counterfeit meets the criteria for being an imitation and is intended to defraud, then it is a true counterfeit. Ditto "genuine counterfeit." Same condition as "genuine imitation."

Virgin Mother. Linguistically, this phrase is an oxymoron. As a matter of faith, however, it is quite sensible. It regards the Christian belief that Mary bore Jesus by way of God, not by way of man.

Some oxymorons are a matter of opinion. They might be sensible to some people and contradictory to others. 

Christian Democrat. Some people feel that Democrats generally espouse and exhibit beliefs that conflict with Christian philosophy. At the same time, some Democrats feel that their beliefs and actions are consistent with Christian philosophy. So whether this phrase is an oxymoron is definitely a matter of opinion. — Submitted by Linda Stack of Knoxville, Tennessee. 

Christian Scientist. Most scientists believe in Darwinism whereas Christians believe in creationism.  This oxymoron obviously isn't always an oxymoron, because there are some scientists that do believe in creationism. — Submitted by "Stephen" of Fresno, California, USA.

Government Employee. "The Government doesn't work for you why should the employee?" asks Linda Gentile of Ocean City, New Jersey, USA.

Happily Married. To those who are not happily married, no marriage could be happy, so this phrase would be an oxymoron. But to those of us who are happily married, there's no contradiction to this term at all.

Happy Homeless Man.  When homeless people are sitting on the side of the highway with their signs, they look cold and hungry, not happy. Heard it on the 6 o'clock news. — Submitted by Josh Rogers of Platte City , Missouri, USA. 

Editor's Note: A homeless person can be happy, if home isn't where happiness can be found.

Honest Lawyer. With lawyers having such a bad reputation, it's no wonder that people would consider "honest lawyer" an oxymoron. "A Lawyer has to defend their client, in which they will lie to the judge in order for their client to be not guilty,"  writes Richie Garodnick. "Being Honest is about telling the truth, and to some, lawyers do not tell the truth in a court of law." Can the same be said about politicians? — Submitted by Richie Garodnick of Centerville, Massachusetts, USA.

Honest Politician.  "Politicians are never truthful. They always lie," asserts  Gabriel Carlos Aguilar of Houston, Texas, USA.  "I heard this oxymoron from my extremely smart mother." This is another opinion oxymoron like "honest lawyer," because the belief that politicians always lie is a personal opinion (albeit widely held).  Also like "honest lawyer," it is a generalization and exaggeration, because it is indiscriminately applied to all. See also "Honest Lawyer" in the Opinion Oxymoron section of this page.

Intelligent Truck Driver. "Have you ever seen an intelligent truck driver?" asks Lisa of Salt Lake City, Utah, USA. "The most I came across fit this term to a "T" and the rest didn't have a clue what it meant." We have seen some truck drivers do some mighty stupid things, but we could say that about car drivers, too.

Internet Security. Some people think the Internet is a nest of crooks, predators, criminals and other nefarious people. Although there are some unscrupulous activities on the Internet, they are in the same proportions as in every city and town in the world. Moreover, most Internet businesses are as honest as any other businesses. We recognize that some people will argue with these assertions because of their belief systems, but that's just the way it is sometimes with some people.

Microsoft Works. "Whenever you need it to, Microsoft most definitely does not work," opines Ryan Levitt of Saint James, New York, USA. Good play on words from someone who definitely is not one of Microsoft's supporters.

Military Intelligence. Sometimes the military doesn't seem very intelligent, and some people believe the military is never intelligent. But intelligence in this usage means knowledge of the enemy, and it is obtained through spying and other means. So "military intelligence" might be an oxymoron to some people and not to others.

Postal Service. A service is "work done for others," and "a government agency." When we mail letters and the Postal Service delivers them, they are performing a service and we are receiving that service. We might not be satisfied with the service every time, but it is still a service. Additionally, most postal organizations are government agencies, so they are services. So "Postal Service" is not an oxymoron, except for the cynical and sarcastic.

Pro-life Smoker.  "If a cigarette smoker takes the pro-life stance on abortion, then why does he/she slowly kill him/herself with cancer sticks?" asks Ray Butera of Fort Collins, Colorado, USA.  "Isn't this an oxymoron?"

Editors' note: We don't believe smokers take up their deadly habit with death intended, but their knowing that disease and death result from smoking should be enough reason to not smoke.

Rap Music. To many people, rap is so pathetic and horrible that it shouldn't be considered music since there really is no melody to it.  However, there are other people who love rap and wouldn't think this to be an oxymoron.  It is basically a matter of opinion. — Submitted by Sonja Belgrade of Stillwater, Minnesota, USA.

Responsible Government. "Its funny and sometimes true," observes "Jen" of London, Ontario, Canada.

Some oxymorons are intentional plays on words to draw attention and make people remember. 

Biggie Smalls. This name of a deceased rap performer, whose real name was Christopher Wallace according to MetaCrawler.Com, is obviously an oxymoron. It was probably selected for its marketing value, because it's so easy to remember.

Deafening Silence. We think of extremely loud noises causing deafness, so how could silence cause deafness? This phrase must be an oxymoron. More than that, it is a metaphor describing an environment so silent that we seem to be deaf. It is often used in reference to silence when statements or responses are expected.

Fatboy Slim. This is a trade name for Norman Cook, a British musician.Curiosly, he's neither fat nor slim. Submitted by Austin Moore of Overland Park, Kansas.

Icy Hot. "Icy is cold, and hot is hot," writes Laurie (no family name given).  This oxymoron required some research, because we never heard of it before, and Laurie didn't give her e-mail address, either. It's the name of a sports cream, the name of a computer virus that scanners don't pick up (according to a news group posting) and the name of a person's horse. The sports cream package says "icy to chill the pain, hot to relax it away." Icy hot also appears to be a slang term meaning "exciting," "wonderful," and "marvelous," based on its usage as an adjective (icy hot web page, icy hot search page, and icyhot.org). The people we asked knew little or nothing about it. Many slang terms are plays on words, and this one qualifies as such.

Same Difference. Nothing that is different from something can be the same as that thing. This phrase is idiomatic to show that an asserted distinction is not distinct after all.

Sharp as a Marble. This simile means that the compared item or person is not sharp at all, because marbles are round instead of sharp. — Submitted by Austin Moore, Overland Park, Kansas, USA.

Some words are derived from other words with contradictory meanings. 

Sophomore.  The Greek roots of this word are definitely oxymorons. "Sophos" means wise, and "moros" means stupid, according to Dictionary.Com. The current meaning of this word bears no resemblance to its Greek roots, however:  a second-year student in a U.S. college, (2) a tenth-grade student in a U.S. high school, (3) a person in the second year of carrying out an endeavor. — Suggested by Robert S. of Virginia, USA.
 

Some contradictions are simply  that. To be oxymorons, the contradicting terms must form new meanings. 
 

Hurting pretty well. Here are three words that seem odd with one another. First, "pretty" has been used synonymously with "very" for years. Second, one of the many meanings of "well" regards condition or health, while another regards "completely," or "perfectly." These words are appropriate together under some denotations and apparently contradictory under other denotations. Thus, they are an oxymoron.  — Submitted by "Patrick" of New York, New York, USA.

Some people put opposite words together and erroneously call them oxymorons. Examples include "fireproof matches" and "one-way round-trip tickets." Of course, there are no such things. To be a true oxymoron, the combined terms must have a real meaning. Therefore, we do not post these absurd combinations on our oxymorons lists.